I not We
In past conversations with my ex there is this exasperating use of ‘we’. We failed. We were both responsible. We. We. We.
Yes, we did fail. I’m not talking about us I’m talking about him or me not we. Let me explain as best I can what the problem is. The problem is that there is no accountability. There isn’t an admission of wrong doing. “We” is used instead of “I” to cover everyone with blame instead of taking responsibility for one’s personal actions during the relationship. It’s hiding from the truth. It’s cowardly behavior and angering to say the least. I have apologized for my actions and inactions. I have admitted guilt of naïveté. I am sorry for what I have done that hurt our marriage. I admit that I am a growing, moving, fallible human. I ask what I can do to make myself better. I. Not ‘we’. My ex is co-dependent and so wasYou remember that firstly, that forgiving someone who has wronged you is not accepting what they did to you was okay. Secondly, remember that it’s not your job to enact justice for the crimes committed against your body, mind, child, and heart. God is the only one who will have full say in what happens here. All that I have lost will be restored to me in one shape or another. It is simply not in my power and not my job. Changing what I can and knowing what I can’t change are great steps to take in this journey as well.
Just writing this takes me closer to that step of forgiveness. I want to be able to ask for forgiveness and for me to do that I must give forgiveness.
“To be Christian is to forgive the unforgivable, because God has forgiven the unforgivable in us.” –C. S. Lewis
